On my way back to Atlanta from Brooklyn, I realized that I misread my flight departure time, so amateur of me. I’m in a lyft and traffic is jammed, I first notice the drivers GPS said 43 minutes to arrive then I look back at my boarding pass, and *FUCK* am I really about to miss this flight? Last flight of the day too. I felt a bit antsy I made a bold request, I need this flight to be delayed. I need to get back to Atlanta tonight. I rested my head on the headrest and closed my eyes, I drifted into a calm space. Periodically I checked the GPS, nothing changed on that end. The doors are closing in maybe five minutes I release myself from the thoughts, I’ll figure it out at the airport, again I close my eyes. Maybe two minutes later my phone vibrated, I got a text from an 888 number “FLIGHT ALERT: Your flight is delayed” breezed through security and boarded. the flight Gods love me, and I can’t keep that to myself.

I have this peculiar habit, well I have so many but this one, in particular, happens when I am on a plane headed back home from a destination. I take myself back to my flight to get there, and I sort of do a scan to access how I felt that day, what thoughts I had and what if anything changed for me during the trip. During this departure, I am sure that I am not the same woman who landed in New York City a few days ago. I’m lighter, not in weight but in spirit, in the buoyancy of my nature. I’m much more confident, confidently trusting my intuition. I am intuitive. I get spirit downloads all the time. I have very clear sight or rather insight into what is so. And while I do not know it all, I am omniscient in my connection to source, all I have to do is ask, and it is revealed to me. I trust my heart. I believe my feelings. I trust my intuition. I have clarity. I have peace. I am in fact much more peaceful. I am by far happier. I am calm. I am hopeful. I began planning for 2019, I made a promise to myself that I would follow my intuition. I’m going to give my head and my brain a break and allow my heart to lead without question or analysis. My word of the year for 2019 has come to me. It’s RELEASE.

release (v) allow or enable to escape from confinement; set free.

I feel so settled in that word. I’m so happy that it declared itself the word for me. I really want to make it clear I did not conjure this up, I did not think about, in fact, I haven’t given my word of the year much thought. It literally fell upon my heart, and it makes more sense than what I would have likely thought up.

This weekend I made a vow to be gentle with myself. Super gentle. Accept all things. Expect nothing. Resist nothing. Fight for nothing. Speak kind words. Allow energy to flow freely.

I completed my level 2 doula immersion at mama glow. It was a life-changing weekend for me. I learned so much technique and knowledge to share with and offer to the moms I will work with along the way. We spent a lot of time on postpartum and the delicacy and importance of a doula during this period. We had an in-depth demonstration on babywearing and the value for moms and dads to wear their babies for bonding and security. I was too thrilled to get home after day 2 so I could wear my nephew Ahsir. He loved it, once strapped in he was out. We certainly have his approval on the Yema baby carrier by Cybex Global. Day 3 we learned pressure points and different oils and herbs to help Mom and baby labor and deliver safely ( and SO much more) Honestly, I cannot wait to take on more births. I cannot wait to share this knowledge. I cannot wait to nurture the moms with the technique and confidence I gained this weekend. This is my work. Birth work. Healing. Ancestral Healing.

Our Glow Pilot, Mama Latham and the experts she invited to present were so full of knowledge and wisdom, they imparted so much of it on us. The space Mama Latham creates for us, the safe, loving, grounded circle of sisterhood is really where the magic lies, it edifies and deepens the learning for me. It’s the sort of experience I plan to offer the families I work with as a doula, and it’s the experience I would like to offer anyone on my path because I am clear that it matters, our interactions have the potential to heal, uplift and nurture if we intend that they do. The experience I speak of is not ordinary by no means. It’s intentional. It’s healing. It’s love. It’s fortifying. It’s confirming. I shared space with some of the most beautiful souls. I was safe. My emotions were safe, my wounds were safe. I am not the same woman that I was when I landed in New York City because my weekend would not allow me to be. My weekend was transformational and once you are transformed. Once the dead weight is gone, and love fills the space there is no going back. I am here now. I am ready. I am willing. I am worthy. I am healed. I am a force. And oh God I am grateful.

I am grateful for light and darkness. I am grateful for femininity. I am grateful for fortitude. I am grateful for opportunities. I am grateful to be a Mama Glow Doula!

This weekend I was birthed. The woman I get to be moving forward was birthed.

what a doula is has taken new meaning for me.

holding space for another has taken new meaning for me.

It isn’t something that I do. It is who I am.


*read answering the call for some background on my doula journey. Xx

3 thoughts on “doula.

  1. Congratulations on completion of your doula certification! May your lessons keep leading you to the light of live and most importantly, new lives! This is your space; this is your time; you are chosen. Much love.

    Liked by 1 person

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