On the morning of March 1st, I woke up from a dream where a great tree had fallen. I was at home in a forest and noticed a giant tree uprooted from my glass balcony windows. At the root of the tree, on either side, I saw my Aunt BeeBee and my cousin Dilcy but what blew me away was what I saw at the top of the tree, deep in the forest, too far for any of us to reach. I witnessed my Grandfather, Edward Lee Dickerson, Jr., walking with three mystical ancient-looking women. One had really long gray hair, and she seemed to be the pack’s leader. She assured me, “he is fine.” She used numbers that I did not fully understand to explain that he was on the brink of life and death. My Grandfather was sauntering using a stick to gather his bearings, but he looked over at me as if to summarize the information. Assuredly he said, “I’m not dead,” and I will hold that forever etched in my mind.

A few hours later, as I made my way from Atlanta to be with my Grandfather in North Carolina, he took his last breath on this side. Though he has departed the body, he isn’t dead. He has, however, transcended this realm.

I was driving home yesterday after grabbing a pot of soup Mama Debo prepared for me. A.P.I.D.T.A by Jay Electronica was playing. I felt my eyes welling up with tears as Jay Elec’s words resonated deeply:

“sometimes I wonder if trees get sad when they see leaves fell.
sleep well.
the last time I kissed you, you felt cold, but you looked peaceful.”

The tears were representative of gratitude, peace, and the experience of the love that my Grandfather will always have for me.

It is not lost on me the blessing of having all four of my Grandparents present in my life through adulthood. And though I wish they were all still here like every day. I will take, hold, cherish, and offer incessant homage to the parts of them that live eternally in me.

p.s. I danced around my house last night as I fried some fish for my ancestors. It’s really a celebration every time we link up.