there is no mountaintop

in the middle of eclipse and retrograde season. i do not know if i’m coming or going some days. things are moving slow but things are certainly moving. traumas are being revealed. ancestral traumas are being healed. i am at most in the drivers seat of my healing and my creations. and at the very least i am getting 6-8 hours of sleep a night. i’m introspective and even my introspections are of retrospect. i feel the love even in my solitude. i’m challenging the illusions i’ve made reality. i’m loving on the voids i’ve historically tried to get others to fill. i have so many creative ideas swirling. i’m writing a lot.  i celebrated a solar return. i bought a house. and i’m training for another half-marathon. still somehow i feel like i’m just getting started. i guess because there is no mountaintop…i’ll holla!

mirrors.

my relationship with you is essentially my relationship with myself. you and I are two souls incarnated on purpose. we both have traumas, karmic debts, and scores to settle in this lifetime. We came to this plane as two completely separate beings, yet  we are one…

…your very presence in my life is proof of divine order and divine grace. I marvel at the ways we find each other lifetime after lifetime in different forms. I’m amazed at the measures taken for us to reconnect on such a massive planet.

as we navigate this journey, i am here for you and even more so i am here for me. taking care of you will come naturally, i promise to take care of myself. please promise to take care of yourself. we will be better together because of it.

 

 

untitled.

Falling in love. The way of mastery
The Way of Mastery

I am in love with you. I do not necessarily want to have sex with you. I may or may not be physically attracted to you. Maybe you are my friend, someone I knew my entire life, or maybe you are a stranger that I’ve just come into contact with. Maybe you are a man. Maybe you are a woman. Maybe you share the same sentiments but maybe you are completely freaked out by the proclamation. Maybe you lean in or maybe you build a wall. I am in love with you. It has nothing to do with physical or material. It has nothing to do with what I want from you or what I want to do with you. It has nothing to do with your features, your smile, your wit, your charm or your body. I am in love with. You happen to fit, hand-in-glove, with the very patterns of consciousness that I carry in the depth of my being. Happenstance, there is no such thing so I know this meeting is divine. I am forever grateful for this moment and sometimes, oftentimes, most times it is just that…a moment, fleeting.

 

I.

am. in. love. with.

You.

*i wonder if we, the collective will arrive here in this dimension but then I read in the way of mastery: “your journey to God is alone” and so I will use my energy to love not wonder.

we wear the mask.

We Wear the Mask

We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.
Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
       We wear the mask.
We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
       We wear the mask!

A word!

“For nothing can be received until the place is prepared for it to enter. And you can only give what you have been willing to receive. If you receive a drop of water into your glass, that is all that you can give to another. But he that receives all, gives all. And he that gives all, receive tenfold more.”

Open your hands and your heart and experience the fullness thereof.

Peace.

sage.

Everyone needs a sage. No debate.

I often say I am the individual and the collective. I experience life as an individual and I experience life as the collective. It requires a lot of mindfulness because the weight of the collective can be extremely heavy. Too heavy for any individual to take on.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that anxiety and depression is heavily affecting the collective right now. I feel it. I’m experiencing it. And what I’ve come to find as a remedy is a sage. Your sage may be your mama, your friends mama, your girlfriend, your auntie, your teacher, your therapist. She holds space for you. She’s spiritually grounded. She exudes love. She passes no judgement. She gives no advice instead she is lead by spirit to offer words and resources that leave you full, heard, loved and equipped. She holds your hand be it literally or theoretically. She listens. She’s generous with her time, her space and her wisdom. She’s there for you. She’s been there before, right where you are. She knows what you are dealing with and her faith allows her to reassure you that it gets better. She speaks over your life and has the vision and foresight to see what’s possible for you. Even when you can’t see it.

You get you a sage. Seek out your sage, share with them what you’re dealing with and watch God in human form wrap the love of the divine feminine around you until you can pick yourself up and walk again. Until you feel lighter. Until you can see clearly. Until you sleep through the night. Until your tears are dry. Until you are at peace in your soul.

Braveheart.

The truth is so much more beautiful than a lie. I know we all have some sort of image to uphold. Pride. Ego. Fear. Sometimes it does not occur as a lie. Sometimes it’s just none of anyone’s business and i advocate for privacy, i do. But gosh the truth, the messy, vulnerable truth is so refreshing. It’s so beautiful. It’s so human. All heart. All Love. The truth heals. It frees you up to feel something different, or take different actions. The truth transforms. It enlivens the truth teller. A lie, well it puts up a good front. It may allow you shallow approval and acceptance from outside sources but it kills you, slowly. It binds you up, holds you hostage, it’s like a foot on your neck. Freedom is however yours on the other side of the truth.