You don’t actually have to choose joy if you are not feeling internally joyful. It’s ok to choose the exact emotion that you are feeling, and by choosing you ultimately release judgement and allow yourself to feel the more vulnerable emotions like sadness, anger, fear, malice, envy, shame. Those emotions are real and they deserve to be welcomed just as freely as we welcome joy and happiness. The concern that inevitably arises for me when falsely choosing joy or using the mind over matter technique is that it is a temporary fix at best, a bandaid if you will. Choosing a more amicable or acceptable emotion is in violation to our growth and healing. It’s inauthentic. It’s a flag on the play. Unnecessary roughness. Flagrant! Really… it is. It does not heal anything, it does not transform, it does not enlighten or enliven, it does not even reveal to you your triggers.
When an emotion is not allowed it is suppressed, also suppressed is an opportunity to get to the other side of whatever it is you are feeling. Our path is not linear and like roses, there are thorns. The fullness of joy you are able to experience in this lifetime is directly correlated to your willingness to allow your emotions to come and visit freely. Sad days will come, honor them. Be curious about what may be ready for healing. Write about how you feel. Talk about how you feel. Don’t just choose joy for the sake of being temporarily comfortable, you do not have to. It’s ok to not be ok. And for heavens sake please stop telling people to just be happy. Don’t stunt their growth like that.
“For nothing can be received until the place is prepared for it to enter. And you can only give what you have been willing to receive. If you receive a drop of water into your glass, that is all that you can give to another. But he that receives all, gives all. And he that gives all, receive tenfold more.”
Open your hands and your heart and experience the fullness thereof.
She was so profoundly sad within the dark corners of her soul. Longing for a love. Longing to be understood. Longing to be wanted. She was longing for a place to stretch her bones, a place for her blood to flow freely, a place where she could be free in her own skin.
She was profoundly sad within the dark corners of her soul. She wanted to be soothed. She wanted to be rocked. She wanted to be reassured that she was enough. Bruised. Beaten. and tormented she never learned how to be there for herself the way she showed up for others. She so badly wanted someone to meet her there, within the dark corners of her soul.
The truth is so much more beautiful than a lie. I know we all have some sort of image to uphold. Pride. Ego. Fear. Sometimes it does not occur as a lie. Sometimes it’s just none of anyone’s business and i advocate for privacy, i do. But gosh the truth, the messy, vulnerable truth is so refreshing. It’s so beautiful. It’s so human. All heart. All Love. The truth heals. It frees you up to feel something different, or take different actions. The truth transforms. It enlivens the truth teller. A lie, well it puts up a good front. It may allow you shallow approval and acceptance from outside sources but it kills you, slowly. It binds you up, holds you hostage, it’s like a foot on your neck. Freedom is however yours on the other side of the truth.