Boundaries are a bit of a buzz phrase these days, in the conversations pertaining to self-care and self-love I often hear people discuss having boundaries. my dearest SJR said in a sermon “you don’t need edge entity, you need boundaries.” I have seen many of post and memes on edges growing back, and skin flourishing when said person drank their water, and implemented some boundaries. I struggle to grasp boundaries, to be honest. theoretically, I totally get it, I get there’s a line, a bubble of sort that we all exists inside of and when someone crosses the line or inserts themselves into the bubble without consent they are crossing a boundary. Even knowing this, there is still some fuzziness for me around boundaries. I remember reading my astrology chart, particularly about my north node. Quick dive into that– your north and south nodes indicate your life destiny and karmic lessons. Your south node represents what you came into this life already knowing, the skills, traits, and ways of being that are pretty innate in you. Whereas your north node could feel like a foreign concept, it’s the lessons, skills, traits, and ways of being you must learn in this lifetime. Once we can learn the lessons and incorporate them with what we already know innately then we have a chance to really live out the true meaning, and destiny of our lives with ease. This is my interpretation of the north and south nodes, of course, Google will share so much more. If you have an interest in learning more about your karmic lessons, and soul missions I would certainly implore you to look into your nodes, it can be confusing initially, and my Sista Ash may be willing to help you out if you ask :). Ok, back to my point… a few years ago when I first began learning about my nodes one thing that was mentioned was that I came into this life with no boundaries. What I find that means for me is that I easily merge with other people’s energetic field often without regard for me, what works or does not work for me. Layman’s terms? I wake up in a perfectly amazing mood, I am going through my day with ease, a friend calls and shares some news that isn’t so great, she vents to me about it, and instantly I feel overwhelmed with sadness and grief. I reschedule some things in my day, so I can help her out with this situation. At the moment I feel delighted that I can contribute and support my loved ones, but when the day is over I feel horrible– headache, backache, I feel emotionally drained and unable to really get anything done for myself that I need to. What happened was I did not establish boundaries, I jumped in to help and became overcome by a situation that in fact had nothing at all to do with me. What I have been learning this month in the world of boundaries is that the time has come for me to create some and actually hold myself to it. Boundaries show up like this for me perhaps because I am very empathic in nature, I feel everything, and I feel obligated often to support those on my path with things that they are dealing with. For you, it may look different, from my experience anything that leaves you feeling upset and drained is likely a personal boundary being crossed. We assume that people should know our boundaries and thus not cross them but actually it is our responsibility alone to implement and hold our own boundaries. We can share our boundaries with others, but essentially no one else is responsible for maintaining our personal boundaries. Of course, this excludes sexual assault and physical boundaries, no means no point blank, under any and all circumstances. Sometimes boundaries are not that black and white. Sometimes a crossed boundary looks like giving of yourself to a partner, friend, company, or family member and never feeling replenished or appreciated. Sometimes it looks like people expecting always to be able to have access to you when they need to vent, or someone to talk to and you find yourself energetically drained. In those cases, you have to be willing to look internally and develop a boundary that will allow for you to exist in spaces with ease and to be able to contribute in ways that fill you up, not deplete you of your resources. So maybe you have days of the week you dedicate to really showing up for, and checking on people that you know are struggling with something. Maybe it looks like working from 9am-5pm and not taking any work home, or not engaging in work outside of office hours. Maybe it looks like feeding a family member with a long spoon, a long spoon like I love and I support you but I cannot be involved in the ins and outs of your life because it personally drains me. There’s a reason they tell us to put our oxygen masks on first in the event of an emergency when we’re flying. For as long as I can remember I took an issue with that, I had it like if I am on the plane with my niece or my grandmother I am certainly going to ensure they are good first, it’s just what made the most sense to me. As I grow and allow myself to evolve inside of these lessons that have been presented to me I realize how much sense it actually makes to put your oxygen mask on first. It is not logically possible to take care of another before you take care of yourself. When you have equipped yourself with oxygen, you will be in a way better place to help someone get their mask on. When your cup is full, you will be in such a better position to pour from your cup into another. Try pouring from an empty cup… no really try it.
April has called me to create boundaries. None of this is linear. There is literally nowhere to get. Which brings me to another gem that April has revealed to me. Alignment. I am no longer interested in fighting or forcing an outcome regarding anything. Alignment is the most beautiful gift we are offered by our creator. The gift to just be and for all that we need to be available to us at the very moment we need it, call for it, long for it. Alignment is so major: it shows up most clearly in the moments when things work out in a way better way then we could have ever conjured up ourselves. Alignment looks like trusting that you have all you need inside of you, and whatever support you need will be made available to you. This month has epitomized alignment. I find myself having exactly what I need, and I find that what I need most often looks a lot different from what I thought I wanted. Alignment sometimes shows up as boundaries that we must respect in ourselves and others.
Honor your boundaries. Allow yourself just to BE. Trust the magic of divine timing. Remain in the posture for a miracle and bask in the magic of alignment.
I love you.
p.s. I’m slightly obsessed with an app called The Pattern. I am opting out of explaining it, but I was wowed, and so far there’s a 99% wow rate among those I’ve shared it with. hehe. ok peace.